PART 11
EXT. IKES CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie stare forward. Both seem in melancholy moods.
Theyre beginning to sense theyre in trouble here. Suddenly,
the car falters and jerks. It shows to a stop on the shoulder of
the road. The car backfires and smokes.
EXT. IKES CAR - COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT
Ike and Maggie sit in the steaming car for a moment.
MAGGIE
Your filters clogged. This takes
unleaded.
IKE
Can you fix it?
MAGGIE
First I have to find some tools. I
need a half and a nine-six-tenth.
IKE
(removing his glasses)
Of what?
MAGGIE
(in amazement)
Wrenches. My dads gonna love that one.
Maggie slams the food closed.
IKE
Kind of isolated.
MAGGIE
Yeah. Its kind of nice.
An uncomfortable silent pause. Ike breaks the moment.
IKE
Theres one thing we New Yorkers know
how to do is hail a cab. If theres no
cab, we walk.
Ike stares off down the road. Maggie indicates a building in
the distance, then turns off the car lights.
MAGGIE
I can get some tools over there.... and
save the battery... Theres one thing
we country girls know how to do is cut
across a field. Its quicker.
Maggie points diagonally across the field to where a gas station
sign glows and the lights from the outer house twinkle.
He smiles and follows her into the field.
MAGGIE (contd)
Be careful of snakes.
IKE
Snakes? Are you serious? I dont like
snakes. Ive never even seen a snake.
He steps carefully into the field, then hops gingerly toward Maggie.
MOMENTS LATER
Maggie leads Ike through a cornfield.
MAGGIE
Do you think theres only one right
person for everybody?
Ike chooses his words carefully.
IKE
No. But I think attraction is too
often mistaken for rightness.
Attraction is very misleading. And if
its mutual, its well, terribly
distracting.
MAGGIE
Yes it is. And it doesnt mean
anything.
Ike nods as they come to a wooden fence. She puts her hand on
his shoulder. Ike puts his hands around her waits to give her a
boost over the top. We see the flicker of misunderstanding cross
Maggies face at the initial contact. Neither of them moves --
forward or back, but the electricity is obvious.
ANGLE ON: Ike. His conflicted feelings are apparent. With
difficulty, Maggie straightens up and they both quickly remove
their hands.
MAGGIE (contd)
(lightly)
I suddenly forgot how to climb a fence.
They look at each other for a moment, then:
MAGGIE AND IKE
(breaking the
moment jokingly)
"Tools".
She climbs over the fence on her own and Ike follows. They see
an old guy, LIONEL, whittling on a porch.
MAGGIE (contd)
Lionel, can I borrow some tools?
IKE
Yeah, we need a half and nine-
sixteenths.
LIONEL
Gonna bust out of another wedding?
IKE
Youre sure well known around here.
EXT. FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - THE NEXT DAY
Establishing shot.
INT. FISHER AND ELLIES KITCHEN (NYC) - DAY
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - DAY
INTERCUT BETWEEN TWO LOCATIONS:
Ike sits on his bed, on the phone, working and eating his
breakfast. Hes watching Maggies wedding tape again. Fisher
is cooking an elaborate breakfast. Ellie rushes around getting
ready for work. He is on the phone to Ike.
FISHER
(into phone)
Yes, well, my theory was that she may
be running because she gets attention...
Negative attention is attention.
Like when women whack you on the street
because of your column, thats negative
attention.
IKE (V.O.)
This is about her negative attention,
not mine. Did you get the
reimbursement for the dress yet?
FISHER
(into phone)
No, Im paying for the dress. Do you
think shes still gonna run?
IKE (V.O.)
I dont know.
Ellie enters the kitchen, hears the question and shakes her head
to herself. If only these boys would give it up.
INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS
He is finding it very hard to gloat. Fisher is annoying him.
IKE
(into phone)
Look -- Ill be in there later today.
Ill come by and tell you all about it.
FISHER (V.O.)
Youre coming here?
IKE
(into phone)
Yeah.
FISHER (V.O.)
Then come for dinner.
IKE
(into phone)
Okay, well order out.
FISHER (V.O.)
Order out like a Philistine, when you
got the Galloping Gourmet here?...
Ike hangs up and watches more of the George Swilling wedding
video.
INT. NEW YORK BAR - DAY
The bar from the opening scene. GEORGE SWILLING, the same man
Ike talked to before, is sitting on a stool, nursing his drink.
He looks better. Ike enters. George looks up and recognizes
Ike, who takes the bar stool next to him.
IKE
Get this man a Kamikaze.
GEORGE
Splendid dissection of Maggie Carpenter,
very professional job.
Ike sits and leans over to George.
IKE
(whispers)
You could have told me you were fiance
number three.
GEORGE
And end up in the papers? Ive been
humiliated enough already to last a
lifetime, thank you. Im sorry she got
you canned.
IKE
Thanks.
GEORGE
Shes a cacophony of contradictions.
IKE
Well, Im writing another article on
the cacophony.
GEORGE
Ah, cant stay away from her, can you?
Like a moth to a flame.
IKE
Guess youd know about that. Youre an
entomologist, right? Hows business?
GEORGE
(taking a sip
of his drink)
Not bad. I was traveling around
studying the reproductive and migratory
patterns of locusts when Maggie met me.
IKE
(sarcastic)
Neuter a locust, feed the world.
GORGE
Not the world. Just Africa and China.
Ike wipes the smirk off his face. Like Maggies other men, this
guy has a worthy accomplishment under his belt.
GEORGE (contd)
You know Maggie was the only girl I
ever met who would hold my tarantula.
On the first date.
IKE (contd)
So, tell me, George, why do you think
she ran?
GEORGE
Same as you said. What did you call
her? A "man-eater", "a devouring death
goddess."
IKE
I dont think thats why she ran.
GEORGE
Why do YOU think she ran?
Ike sips his drink before answering.
IKE
I dont know. Im working on it. I
was on the wrong track.
GEORGE
And you defending her?
IKE
No. I call it like I see it. Im a
journalist. Im a truth teller.
GEORGE
Unbelievable, she got to you.
IKE
Oh, please!
GORGE
Join the club.
(passing him
his drink)
Here, you need this more than me.
George heads out.
IKE
(protecting, taking
his tape recorder
out of his pocket)
Im writing an article, Im getting
paid to do this, its going to be a
cover story, its going to be published
... The facts will be read someday.
As George pauses in the doorway, Ike holds up his tape recorder.
IKE (contd)
What kind of eggs did she like?
GEORGE
Poached, just like me.
George exits.
CUT TO:
EXT. NEW YORK STREET/FISHER AND ELLIES BUILDING - DAY
Ike walks down a street toward Ellie and Fisher.
CUT TO:
INT. FISHER AND ELLIES APARTMENT (NYC) - NIGHT
Ellie is on the phone as Fisher enters with beer. Ike sits at
the piano.
FISHER
(sarcastically)
Overpriced nice apartment and Chinese
takeout. Thats New York living.
ELLIE
(into phone)
... Just call me when you have it.
(hangs up, then to Fisher)
Ike, how is the story coming? Is she a
man-eater?
FISHER
Or a vegetarian?
ELLIE
Or does she pick "NGBS" -- "Nice Guys,
But..." Nice guys, but Im cheap.
Nice guys, but he lives with his mom...
Nice guys, but he just out of prison.
IKE
No... Theyre interesting guys. Each
one of these guys has something going
for him. I mean, ones been up Everest.
Anothers become a priest. Ones a
pretty good guitar player. And this
guy today tried to end world hunger, if
you can believe that...
FISHER
Whoa, Ike. Getting a complex, buddy?
ELLIE
Fisher, let him talk.
IKE
(sits)
But one of those guys -- not one of
them -- knew her at all. Each one was
convinced that she was perfect for them,
but they didnt see her. And she never
showed up so they couldnt see her.
Its a very symbolic thing happening.
She becomes what she thinks they wanted
to be.
Fisher doesnt like the sound of this. He glances at Ellie, who
is looking very interested.
FISHER
(in shock)
Ike is turning sensitive and I cant
bear to watch. Im going to make a
fresh pot of tea.
The phone rings as Fisher exits. Ike goes to the piano as Ellie
picks up the phone.
ELLIE
(into phone)
Yeah... Oh, Jay... Okay... Bye.
(hangs up, then yells to Fisher)
Fisher, dont forget the fortune
cookies.
She joins Ike at the piano. Ike gets serious.
IKE
Is that what I did to you? Is that
what happened? Did I just not see
you?
ELLIE
No. No, you didnt.
He hugs her.
IKE
(heartfelt)
Well -- Im sorry, Im really sorry,
Ellie.
ELLIE
Im sorry, too.
(beat)
Wow. That only took us between years
to say.
Ellie blinks back sentimental tears.
CUT TO